एक पल यूँ जी लिया ,बस जिंदगी को जी लिया
एक मधुकण पी लिया जीवन का अमृत पी लिया
जिंदगी की चाहतों का अंत कुछ होता नहीं
स्वप्न अपना जी लिया तो चाहतों को जी लिया
सौ बरस की जिंदगी को क्या करूँ जी कर भला
एक दिन में जैसे हमने एक जनम को जी लिया
प्यास बुझ सकती नहीं सावन की इक बरसात से
अंजुरी पर होठ रख कर सारा सावन पी लिया
Dear Mahendra, I must say that I could feel the feelings in your writings very clearly and do appreciate. Though I do not have this talent to create such poems but a single line of a good poem starts the mental motor, and in such a state of mind I feel that your poems can certainly be re-worded and I can guarantee that the required finesse would keep your readers spellbound. This does not mean that I did not like them but I want them to come to a very high level and the best person to rethink on this is YOU. Please do keep the good work going, I love them. Shashi Mimani
जवाब देंहटाएंThanks Shashi!Poem is made out of a thought,which is designed with the spirit and which is constructed with proper words, sometimes rhyming takes away good words in order to give way to better rhyming word.My writing is meaningful if I have readers like you.Thanks again, dear.
जवाब देंहटाएंAati Sundar...
जवाब देंहटाएंSanjeev